Blah, blah, blah

Two researchers from the University of Cambridge studied the testosterone and cortisol levels of 17 men trading on the London stock exchange. The findings? High levels of testosterone are associated with risky decisions and higher earnings. Cortisol with stress, caution and loss.

Of course, all traders are men. And of course, that means they’re controlled by testosterone. And thus, the market is controlled by testosterone.

The researchers found that the economy’s “bubbles and crashes are coming from these steroids.”

So it was testosterone that led many of these men to a house-load of money from the housing market crash that cost many people their homes.

The researchers suppose, “If more women and older men were trading, the markets would be more stable.”

Gee thanks. I love it when science uses a social characteristic to understand a biological concept that then is used to explain that very social characteristic.

Men are aggressive and testosterone is the “male” hormone, so testosterone causes aggression. If testosterone causes aggression, men are aggressive because of testosterone.

It’s circular, just like balls, that’s where testosterone comes from, so these men scientists use circular reasoning because they’re dicks!